News For The Blind
26 Reasons Why Girls Sit When They Pee

It’s no secret that girls sit when they pee, here are 26 reasons why:

        

  1. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  2. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  3. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  4. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  5. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  6. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  7. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  8. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  9. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  10. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  11. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  12. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  13. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  14. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  15. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  16. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  17. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  18. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  19. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  20. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  21. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  22. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  23. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  24. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  25. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.
  26. Because girls don’t have a penis and if they didn’t sit they would pee all over themselves.

Missed Connection: Guy Currently on Fountain and Fairfax Staring Fearfully at Me

I’m watching you right now; you are so incredibly handsome. You are staring at me; I feel an instant connection. I can feel the sparks and I know you can too because you are calling probably your best friend or someone close, telling them about me. You look scared and teary eyed, probably because the emotion is overwhelming. Don’t worry… I feel it too. We’ve been making eye contact since you left your office in Burbank four and a half hours ago. Your sister in the passenger seat is screaming frantically, probably because she wants you to follow your heart and talk to me. Her children are crying out, “Daddy”, and you are responding. You are a great uncle comforting them since their dad isn’t in the car. I love kids- I can’t wait to be an aunt. Here come your cop friends… I bet they are telling you to bite the bullet and propose. Now they are pointing their guns at me. I love how funny your friends are, taking “bite the bullet” so literally. The helicopter above me is kind of distracting, so, sorry if I break eye contact. I have to get to work now, so if you see this, meet me outside your bedroom window. I will be waiting there all night.

- Mary T. 

Girl Found Dead After Not Re-Posting Facebook Link

Maria Marshall of Pelham, Texas was found dead after she allegedly read a Facebook link that stated she had to share the same link to 20 different pages under 5 hours. Pelham police released a statement saying Marshall only managed to post the link to two different pages within 5 hours. They are ruling out homicide and are leaning towards suicide because why wouldn’t she just post it to all 20 pages? I mean that’s what the link said to do. It warned her and everything. Below is an excerpt from the link: 

My name is Jenny. I am 16 years old and have dark blonde hair. NOW THAT YOU HAVE STARTED READING YOU MAY NOT STOP!! I was murdered July 14th with my fathers shotgun and butcher knife. If you do not post this on 20 other pages i will come to your house in the middle of the night and kill you with my fathers shotgun and butcher knife. You have 5 hours to complete this task. 

I really hope your Man of Steel review was a satire because that was the most retarded thing I've ever read..
Anonymous

Dont be made at me, Blame the movie editors and who ever thought to make Superman into a movie. 

More Like Super Man made of CRAP: Man of Steel Review

Ok, so I don’t think I’m the first person to ever have reviewed a movie, but lets get one thing clear; my opinions are usually correct and I don’t just write a review about anything (although my yelp profile is ranked very high for useful comments). Last night I had the NOT-PRIVILEGE of seeing the latest Super Man movie, Man of Steel. I’m a huge Marvel comic fan so I was really excited. Let’s just say, I was more let down in the first 5 minutes than I ever will be in all of eternity. 

I won’t give away any spoilers other than IT SUCKED. First of all the title Man of Steel makes no sense. He isn’t made of steel. Strike one against the movie. The story starts off where Superman is a baby. A baby alien sent to earth because his alien parents’ home planet was exploding? Uh, I don’t think so. The whole movie was so unrealistic. Aliens aren’t real let alone that strong. The whole premise is that Super Man’s dad grows babies underwater and that accidentally caused his planet to explode which mad the bad guy, Zod (played by someone I’m not sure) really angry AND THEY NEVER EVEN EXPLAIN WHY. Ok, umm first, babies being grown in pods? Yeah, not gonna happen on any planet because babies have to have an umbilical cord. Confused so far? Yeah, so was I. I noticed a countless amount of inconsistencies. First, in the beginning of the movie superman’s name was Cal. And then all of a sudden his name was Clark. Then it was back to Cal again. I thought his name was Super Man. Wow. Who in movie headquarters missed that one? Also, wasn’t Super Man a comic book character? There wasn’t one single cartoon the entire movie.

To be honest I’m a HUGE Woody Alan fan, so when I heard he directed the film I said, “Sign me up YESTERDAY! I’m THERE!” Now when you hear Woody Allen, you think ACTION right? WRONG. This wasn’t like any Woody Alan movie I had ever seen before. The movie had barely any action. If I wanted to go see a rom com I would call up all my menstruating girlfriends and go see After Earth. In one scene, Spider Man gets so angry he tackles a bad guy and throws him into 4 or 5 buildings. YAWN. Woody dropped the ball on this one.

My advice to anyone who wants to go see Man of Steel? Don’t. If you want to see an action packed GOOD movie that will satisfy your childhood super hero needs, go see The Heat instead.

2 years, one Super Bowl commercial, a Daytime Emmy nomination, Time magazine article, award shows, television clips, and 26 million views ago I uploaded a video that changed my life forever. Today is the 2 year anniversary of “eHarmony Video Bio” and I didn’t even realize it. I owe Debbie a lot. Well I guess Debbie owes me a lot because I made her. I mean I am her, but that’s not the point. The point is, I want to thank God, Teen Mom, Papa John’s pizza, and the built-in webcam on my old laptop for giving me such a weird blessing. Oh and all 26 million people who watched the video, shared it, and honestly thought Debbie was a real person. I’ve had so many incredible things come from this silly little video I made up late one night, and I have so many more awesome things to come. I am truly a very lucky and blessed person, as corny (or horny depending on if you’re reading this with your pants off?!) as that may sound. And I thank everyone so much for making me feel like I have a purpose in this world! I like to make people laugh and I’m glad I got to share a laugh with 26 million of you. 
Pizza and cats,
-Cara (Debbie)